Dear writers
by tataalicat
Summary: Letters from the characters of NCIS to us FanFiction writers.
1. I like Ziva

**So this is just a random fic I thought of whee the characters of NCIS write letters to us fanfiction writers.**

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><p>Dear Fanfiction writers,<p>

I like Ziva.

Not Gibbs, and certainly not McGee.

So I am going to ask you to please stop writing fics with me and Gibbs/McGee

Again, I'm gonna as to stop.

Just so my point gets across

Sincerely, Tony Dinozzo


	2. Letter from the dead

**A/n: So did I mention that I would update a few times a day? Well I am!**

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><p>Dear fanFiction writers,<p>

So thank you for writing me in fics where I come back! I like them alot!

And let me set the record straight, i don't, nor have I ever liked Tony... well mabye a little.

Scratch that! He's so annoying... and a little cute... and charming... and handsome...

Just forget I said those last few things!

And yes, me and Ziva probably would be friends if I was alive.

But I don't hate her because she likes Tony... so stop saying I do!

Sincerely, Kate Todd

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><p><strong>An: I thought these are so cute to write, and it's fun to.**


	3. Why oh Why?

**A/n: I'm glad to see that you all are liking this fic! Normally I write Jibbs, with like a hint of Tiva and McAbby, so I was hoping this would turn out good! :) Well I hope you like this chapter!**

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><p>Dear writers of Fanfiction,<p>

Out of curiosity why am I not a character on your guys character select?

There could be amazing story's about me that people have in their minds!

But now we will never know!

I can have Abby kill you without leaving forensic evidence!

You have been warned...

Sincerely, Bert the Hippo

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><p><strong>Seriously, why can't we choose Bert as a character?<strong>


	4. Red

Dear Jethro,

Wait wrong letter!

Dear FanFiction writers,

Yes my hair is naturally red.

Yes I like my long curly hair better than the ultra short pixie cut.

Why did I cut it you ask?

To make me look more professional.

Not because Jethro liked my long hair better.

Stop thinking that! Because it's not true.

Well I guess that might have been a reason I did it.

You know what forget I ever said that.

Anyway thanks for hooking me up with Jethro in most of your fics, or bringing me back from the 'dead'!

Sincerely , Jenny Sheppard


	5. Im not a bad guy

Dear FanFiction writers,

No, I did not kill Jenny.

I don't understand why you guys think I did.

No I dont hate Gibbs or his team. No I didn't break them apart out of spite, I did it for the good of NCIS.

So if you would please stop saying that I did that would be much appericiated.

I'm not a bad guy. So stop making it out like I am.

Sincerley, Leon Vance


	6. Song of NCIS

Dear NCIS,

I love our show.

Know why?

Cause I'm in every episode.

Sincerely,

NCIS theme song


	7. Movie time with Tony

Dear Tony,

Why do you always have to make references to us?

And why are you so obsessed with us?

Yes, were good but soon you will run out of movies.

Because you use us so often.

Just a thought...

sincerely,

All good movies


	8. I will kill you

Dear writers of FanFiction,

I can deal with you pairing me with Gibbs.

Abby.

Even McGee.

But when you pair Ziva with someone else...

I will come into your house while you are sleeping and kill you.

And not only will I kill you, it will be a slow painful death.

Not so sincerely,

Tony Dinozzo


	9. I am number 12

Dear writers of FanFiction,

I don't like who I am.

I keep people apart, I know.

So when you break me I'm okay with it.

But Gibbs has his reasons...

I used to be "Never turn your back on a suspect.".

But then Gibbs went to Paris and fell in love... still is...

And thus, I was renamed.

So I hope you don't hate me.

Sincerely,

Rule #12


	10. Condition and ice every 15 min

Dear writers of FanFiction,

I don't like who I am.

I keep people apart, I know.

So when you break me I'm okay with it.

But Gibbs has his reasons...

I used to be "Never turn your back on a suspect.".

But then Gibbs went to Paris and fell in love... still is...

And thus, I was renamed.

So I hope you don't hate me.

Sincerely,

Rule #12


	11. Rainbow paper clip

Dear Tony,

Stop throwing paper balls at me.

Sincerely,

Ziva David.

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><p>Dear Ziva,<p>

But McGee isn't here.

Who else should I bother?

Sincerely,

Tony Dinozzo

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><p>Dear Tony,<p>

You know I have a lovley box of paper clips here.

So many sizes...

Sincerely,

Ziva

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><p>Dear Ziva,<p>

Umm...

Sincerely,

Tony

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><p>Dear Tony,<p>

So many colors to. Which should I use?

Purple...Blue...

Yellow...Green...

Oh I know!

I'll use the rainbow one!

Sincerely,

Ziva

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><p>Dear Tony &amp; Ziva,<p>

Both of you knock it off!

Sincerely,

A ticked off Gibbs


	12. I dont know what to say

Dear Abby,

Well I kinda...

You see I...

Umm...Well...I uhh...

I...

We should...

You know we should uh...

You know never mind.

Sincerely,

Tim


	13. Elevator talk

Dear Writers of Fanfiction,

The things I have seen.

The things I have heard.

I have heard the most private between Gibbs and his team, and at times others, some of their most treasured secrets revealed.

And the things I have seen, especially between Gibbs and Jenny and agent Lee and the autopsy gremlin inside my steel walls. I am scared for life.

Going at it like rabbits all the time...

And let's get one things straight, Leroy Jethro Gibbs does not treat my switch with care.

Everyday with flipping me on and off. Its is annoying!

Well, at least my doors close automatically.

Because I have seen him and how he treats doors!

I feel worst for the directors door! Getting slammed all the time and what not.

Well I have to wrap this up now, Gibbs and Tobias just entered and I have the feeling I will be shut off again.

sincerely,

The elevator.


	14. You didn't listen

Dear FanFiction writers,

I warned you.

I warned you not to pair Ziva with someone else.

But nope, you just had to go and do it again didn't you?

What did I ever do to you?

Did I ever insult you? Did I offend your mother?

Nope, don't think so.

I told you I would kill you, but since I made 400 in a pool I'm feel nice today. So you have one more chance.

One more.

Or I will sneak into your house one night and kill you slowly.

sincerely,

Tony


	15. CafPow!

**So I have gotten some comments saying how some of my chapters are offensive to some readers, espically my last chapter. Now look I don't mean to offend anyone but this is from Tony's POV so anyone can see he likes Ziva, and truth to be told i was never a Tiva a shipper until recently, i liked tate. So anyone who doesnt like Tiva or whatever that's cool i'm not trying to offend you guys! So I'm sorry if I did offend you, but if it's such a big deal I could just stop the story. Whet ever you guys want.**

**Welp, enjoy this chapter!**

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><p>Dear Abby,<p>

We love you!

No mater what you always have one of us with you!

And when we think of it as you can't save lives without us.

And we hold the secret of how we Gibbs hides us.

Keep drinking!

Love, Caf-Pows

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><p><strong>An: I couldn't think of anything really, but I wanted to get this updated!**


	16. Not a swifty

**A/n: Whoo hoo! We reached just a few over 100 comments! Thanks to all of you reviewers so much!**

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><p>Dear writers of FanFction,<p>

Okay I am not a Swifty.

I have never listened to Taylor swift in my life.

I don't know who told you that but it really needs to stop.

I like hard core rock/screamo music, not country/pop music.

So Stop it!

Thank you!

With love,

Abby

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><p>An: Hey If you guys have any ideas about a chapter I should write inbox me or state it in the comments and i would be more than happy to write and post it for you!


	17. Electronics are not your friend

Whoa! It's been a while and I'm so sorry. I have like 5 stories im working on and I forgot about this one! Well I'm updating now so you can put your pitchforks and torches away!

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><p>Dear Gibbs,<p>

What did we ever do to you?

Did we insult you in some way?

Nope... Can't say we have.

Just because you can't figure us out doesnt mean you have to hate us!

Or pull you gun out on us!

This is why we like McGee, he gets us.

Unlike some...

Not so sincerely,

All electronics


	18. Who let the dog out?

Dear writers of FanFiction,

I am in barley any of your stories.

How come?

Me and Bert could make the most amazing story together.

No really! Think about it!

You people will just never get us, no one will understand us like Abby does.

I mean really, how can you say no to this face?

You can't.

You will come to your senses one day.

You'll see.

Sincerely,

Jethro the dog.

Woof!


	19. One day

Dear FanFiction writers,

I am here to tell you that I do not approve of this so called "Tiva"

My daughter will marry a jewish isreali man who I approve of.

And Anthony Dinozzo is not a man I approve of.

If it was my choice Ziva would be working for me right now.

But my daughter has made her own decision.

But one day she will realize she made a mistake and come home.

And I will be waiting.

- Eli David


	20. Story time with Ducky

Dear FanFiction writers,

I enjoy telling my many stories

You see when I was a boy many things had happened to me

I tell them not to entertain, but to inform today's youth

But I find that Jethro and his team are beginning to not listen

What I ask is why?

They are quite interesting when you hear the whole thing

Actually that reminds me of once when I was in England me and a fellow land of mine...

...

...

...

Sincerely,  
>Donald "Ducky" Mallard<p>


	21. Rule 52

Dear Tony and Ziva,

Will you 2 shut up and get to work?

I ain't paying ya to sit around and bicker.

You to better get back to work or you to will find yourself out of a job.

You'd think I'd be babysitting three year olds.

I'm seriously thinking about making a new rule.

#52- Shut up and sit down.

,Gibbs 


	22. Coffee

Dear Coffee,

I love you.

I really do.

Your my best friend.

And I believe Jethro loves you to.

What would I do without you?

Die, again...

I would come back to life and re-die.

If you weren't around.

Love,  
>Jenny Shephard<p> 


	23. Golf clubs

Dear Gibbs,

I am sorry about what I was used for.

I really am.

But in my defense I couldn't stop her.

And that is the only thing I was used for.

Again I am quite sorry.

Now i sit alone in the basement all by my self.

Hope you don't have a scar.

Sincerely,

X-wife #2's now dented golf club


	24. Bourbon

Dear bourbon,

You are amazing.

You have gotten me through so many times.

And many late nights with my boat.

You are an aquired taste

And I have aquired your taste.

Your taste is probably the only thing keeping me sane.

Thank you.

, Leroy Jethro Gibbs


	25. Deathly love

Dear Ducky,

We enjoy you talking to us.

It's good to know that someone likes to.

It gets quite boring being dead.

You have some interesting stories if we do say.

Well anyway thanks for sharing!

With deathly love,

All dead bodies.


	26. Ow

Dear Gibbs,

Would It be to much to ask for you to stop slamming me?

It hurts you know!

Just because I'm made of metal doesn't mean I don't have a heart!

I mean look at Cynthia!

She opens and closes me so nicley.

Can't say the same for you

Also I - OWWWWWWW!

Really, right in the middle of my letter you slam me?

Really?

Thanks. No really thanks.

Love,  
>The directors door <p>


	27. I know Ziva

Dear Ziva,

I know it was you who killed me.

Not Gibbs.

So you can lie and say it was Gibbs.

But I know the truth.

I will have my revenge!

Watch out dear sister.

, Ari Haswari


	28. Crazy ninja

Dear writers of FanFiction,

I realized that I really do like Ziva.

She seems pretty cool for a crazy ninja.

Although the paperclip thing kind of scares me...

But still I think she is a pretty umm...interesting person.

And besides, she can really scare Tony.

Which is quite humerous in my book.

Is it wrong of me to find Tony's fears funny?

Well it doesn't matter cause it is!

Come on you know it is!

I think thats what made me like Ziva the most.

Well whatever, Gibbs seems to be quite fond of her so she must be okay.

With Love,

Kate Todd 


	29. Math

Dear Tenth grade math teacher,

I can't remember your name right now.

But I have to say I'm sorry.

Apperently we do use math in real life.

Who would have thought?

Not me that's for sure.

The only math I wanted to use when I was younger was money.

So I was wrong.

Not that I would admit it to anyone else.

And don't tell my boss I'm apologizing.

And don't tell anyone else that I was wrong.

I mean let's face it, I'm hardly ever wrong.

Right?

The one and only,

Tony DiNozzo

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><p><strong>AN: If you guys don't know what episode its from it is from Season 2 episode 1 called see no evil.  
><strong>  
><strong>Personally this is my favorite one so far.<br>**  
><strong>Remember to always R&amp;R!<strong>


	30. McNames

Dear Writers of FanFiction,

Tony has called me so many names over the last few years its hard to believe.

Do you know how many he has called me?

No I mean really do you know? I stopped counting around 150.

I have to say though he has been quite creative...

And some were just plain stupid.

Like Aqua Smurf, that one was a bit dumb.

Elflord and probie were just annoying.

McGPS, Wee Willy Webelos, Tiny Tim.

Not that I would admit it to it.

But those were kind of creative.

But do NOT tell him that.

Thank you.

From,

Timothy McGee 


	31. Your face

Dear Abby,

Were gonna try this again.

So you see I kinda...

Well I like umm...

Uhh... your face.

Yeah I like your face.

It's uh...pretty.

You have a pretty face.

And well...

I like you and your face.

Both things are amazing.

So.

Yeah.

From,

McGee


	32. Mexico

Dear Mexico,

I miss you.

I really do.

Like F*cking hell.

Just saying.

I shall be back.

With a cooler of ice cold beer.

Hopefully.

,Gibbs 


	33. Shut up

Dear Tony,

Do you ever shut up?

I mean we don't think you have shut up since you walked in.

We mean really, who cares about what you did last night.

We don't care about some new movie you had never seen before.

Or the chick you hit on either.

Who we hope you know probably wont call you back.

Or you won't call back.

You remember that sit down and shut up rule?

Yeah were going to second that rule.

Sincerely,

McGee and Ziva


	34. The name game

Dear Writers of FanFiction,

My name is not spelled Dinozzo.

Big D, little i, Big freaking N! Ozzo.

_DiNozzo._

And for McGoo.

Same for him.

Big stupid M, little tiny c, Over sized G.

ee?

Yeah ee I guess, McGee.

And it's pronounced Ziva _Da-veed_.

Not _day- vid_ for you idiot people who don't know.

Gibbs is easy to say.

With mixed emotions,  
>Tony DiNozzo<p> 


	35. Idioms

A/N: Woohoo! Over 3 hundred reviews! Lets keep up the good work with comments!

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><p>Dear American Idioms,<p>

Why do you have to be so confusing?

Can't you just have a no idioms in your language?

I mean I am always saying something wrong

But everyone knows what I mean

So It doesn't matter right?

You should make a book of them

Oh...you do?

Well then...

From the bottom of my lung,

Ziva David.

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><p>An: Hahaha I love Ziva's idioms problem. R&R guys! And comment and suggestions you have or PM me!


	36. Caffine

**HOLY CRAP! I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY THAT I HAVENT UPDATED! I FELL SO BAD CAUSE I LOVE WRITING THIS STORY! Please don't hate me :(**

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><p>Dear caffine,<p>

I love you!

I really do.

Without you I'm not sure how I could work without you!

Without you there would be so many unsolved cases.

You should feel proud!

Your like my partner in crime, metiphoically speaking at least.

Well I just wanted to say thank you!

With love,

Tony DiNozzo.

Just Kidding!

Love,

Abby Scuito


	37. Hollis

**HOLY CRAP! I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY THAT I HAVENT UPDATED! I FELL SO BAD CAUSE I LOVE WRITING THIS STORY! Please don't hate me :(**

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><p>Dear Hollis,<p>

You not even a redhead!

Why did Gibbs even date you?

No one can figure this out.

I mean I would understand if you were a strawberry blonde.

But your not.

Again...why?

I guess we'll never know...

With a decent amount of confusion,

Everyone at NCIS


	38. The return of Mike

**Hey guys! So this chapter was written by Zothar, not me so they get all the credit! I have to say this was utter brilliance!**

**Oh and if you guys ever have an idea just leave it in the comments or PM me! Thanks!**

**Thank you Zothar for this chapter!**

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><p>Dear Fanfiction writers,<p>

Why the hell am I not in more of your stories?

You all love to bring back that woman director, Sheppard, and Kate, hell even some of the villains!

It wouldn't have to be long. Just a story here and there.

Me teachin' probie a thing or two.

Who the hell do you think gave him the idea for headslaps? Sheppard? Bah.

And to the few of you that have mentioned me, thanks.

Even if it was only after my death, at least it meant something to you.

The rest of you assholes get with the program.

Sincerely, or whatever crap people say at the end of letters nowadays, Mike Franks.


	39. The boat and the basement

**missiontothestars PMed me and asked if I could write one about Gibbs and his boat. So I am so so so so sorry I haven't updated this but I have been like super busy with school and stuff so my writing time has been cut in half. And like my freaking teacher is seriously making pull my hair out. Im depressed and have anxiety and this guys hasn't taught me anything. And I got to an arts school and I major in writing, so it ticks me off I'm not learning anything, so if I don't update and just drop off the face of the earth y'all know what happened!**

**Disclaimer: Let me check... Nope I don't own NCIS and it's characters.**

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><p>Dear FanFiction writers &amp; NCIS viewers,<p>

I have been asked how I get my boat of of my basement.

A lot.

At least three times a season.

But the answer is real simple

You don't get it out.

Have you noticed I burn every boat?

Because I can't get them out of the basement.

And _most _of the time their named after people I don't like.

Not all the time.

But a good portion of them are.

From,

Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

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><p><strong><span>missiontothestars<span>- I hope that this was good enough, sorry for the long wait.**

And to every reader, I always imagined that he just plans on burning every boat that he makes and really has no plan on getting any of them out. Who knows thought? Im probably wrong, lol.

Well, R&R guys, sorry for the long wait! Love y'all!


	40. IMPORTANT NOTICE!

**Hey guys! So sorry for the false update here, but I just wanna let you all know some things.**

**First, I have fixed all spelling errors in every chapter, which includes the sincerely's. **

**Second, I have fixed one thing in the last chapter which was about Gibbs burning his boats. I missed out on a word word which was almost. So he now would say I burn _almost_ every boat because yes, I know he does not burn the Kelly and that is why i also said he names them after people he doesn't like almost every time. Almost being the key word in the statement. **

**Third, in the chapter about the last names I know that Ziva's name is spelled David. When I said Dah- Veed I was simply doing the pronunciation of her last name and not the spelling seeing as how many people have pronounced it Day-vid and not Dah- Veed. **

**Fourth, any small grammar changes that were needed have been changed. **

**Fifth, the whole chapter with the Idiom's have been fixed. **

**And readers, please remember that I am only human and that I make mistakes. So those of you who criticize my spelling and grammar I thank you for letting me know of the problem. But I am not perfect and this is fanfiction, it isn't a freaking novel so if one thing is spelled wrong here and there it will not kill you in the future. And guys, if the story bugs you that much you can either stop reading it or I can just stop it all together.**

**Oh, and all the people who are against the whole Tiva thing please understand I am not trying to offend you but Tiva is one of the most popular NCIS couples. If you ship something else and would like me to write about it please message me with an idea and I would be more than happy to write it for you.**

**Thank you to all who took the time to read this, I promise that all chapters in the furture will be proof read more thoroughly.**

**Thanks.**

_**Sincerely,**_

**tataalicat :)**


	41. Diane returns

**This chapter was requested by EJ Barrett.  So I hope that this was good enough! **

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><p>Dear FanFiction writers,<p>

Why did I have to end like this?

Burned to death by my creator.

Life sucks you know that?

I mean it's not my fault I was named after an ex-wife.

Maybe Gibbs should work harder at a relationship.

So other boats wouldn't end up like me.

His latest boat, Kelly got to live.

Yes it is named after his daughter.

But still...

I wished I could have lived.

When I was being built I longed for the day to be free.

Being able to take him out sailing.

Then right after I was done I was set aflame.

Oh, and by the way.

Even I don't know how he gets boats out of the basement.

Sincerely,

Diane the boat.


	42. NCIS

Dear American population,

Do anyone of you know what i am?

NCIS.

It stands for Naval Criminal Investigation Service.

No we did not spell CSI wrong. And I am not the FBI.

Stupid FBI...

But honestly, you know the CIA, FBI, CSI ect ect...

But not NCIS.

I'm like the FBI and CSI mixed together.

Just a lot less stupid.

Really guys, do they not teach you anything in school.

Evidently not.

Hey! Heres an idea!

Google me!

Something pop up then!

Thanks!

Love,

NCIS.


	43. True fans

Dear writers of FanFiction,

I would just like to thank you for writing about me.

It is good to know who true fans are.

Sure, anyone can watch me.

But when you guys write about me and my characters, it's something else.

So all you die-hard fans,

Thank you, and keep writing.

sincerely,

NCIS


	44. Name game part 2

Dear writers of FanFiction,

My name is spelled Abby.

Not Abbey, or Abbie.

Four letter name guys! I promise it's not that hard to spell!

Tony already went over the last name thing...

really guys, I'm not that mad, I'm just a bit Annoyed.

oh! And it's not spelled Bert. It's Burt. B U R T.

you can mess up my name, but don't mess with Burt.

I mean it.

Ill send Ziva after you!

Because you spelled his name wrong I shall send the ninja assassin after you!

The moral of this story Is that you need to spell names right.v

That is all.

Love,

Abby


	45. The ex's

Dear Writers of FanFiction,

You guys give Tony to much credit as a womanizer.

Have you ever dated the man?

Let's give you the low down...

The date is great and he's a charmer.

You give him your number and expect a call the next day.

But no, he doesn't bother calling you.

Then if you call him, he completely ignores you.

But you know he has his phone with him, you know he's ignoring your calls!

Then you never hear from him again.

It's like your a one night stand.

Never seen of, heard of or spoken to again.

So word of advice for all the females out there.

Never date Tony DiNozzo.

It will not end well.

You've been warned.

From,

All of Tony Ex-Girlfriends.


End file.
